Grand European Adventure

(or: How I Moved to Paris with a geriatric Pug and Lived to Tell About It)

A lot of friends (and curious acquaintances) have asked how I managed to move 9 time zones away and settle down in Paris with my 12-year-old pug, Boots. Did I speak French? (Non.) Did I know anyone? (Also non.) Do the French hate Americans? (Sometimes. But they pretty much hate everyone equally—so it’s fine.) And how on earth did I get a visa?

Short answer: it’s been one helluva ride.

Longer answer: I’ve decided to write about it.

So here we are. A weekly post for anyone dreaming of living in Europe—whether forever, or just for a glorious extended escape. Especially for my fellow baby boomers (you’re welcome), this space will be full of spa reviews, travel tips, expat misadventures, and the occasional cultural rant when bureaucracy pushes me over the edge (which is often).

Here’s a taste of what’s coming:

1. An American in Paris

The what, where, and how in the actual heck of moving, living, and thriving in the City of Lights. I’ll share tips on becoming a local, building community, and scoring the best museum and cultural passes (because why pay full price when you can pay half and feel smug about it?).

2. Food, Festivals & Fromage

My holy trinity. Pro tip: you can eat at a Michelin-starred restaurant without selling a kidney—as long as you go for lunch. Many one-star spots offer prix fixe menus at digestible prices. I’ll also gush about festivals—especially Fête de la Musique, the summer solstice street party to end all street parties. And then… there’s the cheese. Glorious, sacred, cheese. The French take it seriously, like Crown-Jewels serious. You’ll see.

3. Tips & Tricks

Hard-won wisdom from your mistake-prone expat friend (moi). First up: always say hello and goodbye when entering or leaving a shop. “Bonjour, madame/monsieur” on the way in, “Merci, au revoir” on the way out. Forget this, and you’ll stick out like an American in white sneakers. Oh wait - scratch that since they’re now ‘in’ but they have to be really cute … how about someone donning a fanny pack and French beret?

4. Travel

Trains are my love language. With a little know-how, European rail travel is a dream—but without it, you may find yourself (as I once did) stranded on some random platform in rural Germany, clutching two suitcases and wondering where all the people went. I’ll cover train tips, cycling tours (where not all operators are created equal) and destination spas. A word about those ever-so-trustworthy “Top 10 Spas in Europe” lists you may stumble across while Googling your way to relaxation—they’re not exactly paragons of journalistic integrity. Slap on a little digital glitter, toss in a few juicy affiliate links, and voilà: clickbait masquerading as expertise. Don’t worry, I’ve done the legwork - and towel-wrapping - so you don’t have to.

Coming Next Week:

A rundown of the destination retreats I’ve visited so far: the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Someone should really make a movie with that title.) Plus, my three favorite restaurants in Paris, hands down.

What else?

That’s up to you! Drop your questions or ideas in the comments—I’d love to hear from you. And if you feel like subscribing to the newsletter, I promise no spam, no weird data sharing, just me, every week, being ridiculous (with a side of self-deprecation) from somewhere afar. Sound good? Great. Let’s do this.